The “R” word – Can we call it something else?
Earlier this month, I officially changed my work status from benefit-eligible part-time to casual. I watched my boss check new boxes on my HR record, including one that said “0 hours scheduled.” While I truly welcome this transition, I do not yet embrace the term “retired” as representing my status in life or my aspirations for this next chapter. In part, that’s because the phrase “to retire” technically means to withdraw, retreat from action or danger, or go to bed. For me, it calls up a gray-haired older woman (yup, that’s me), sitting with her friends (probably), wearing her lace-collared sweatshirt with a teddy bear and “grandma” appliqued (nope), and playing canasta (not a chance). I adore my grandson but this dismissive image of retirement does not align with how I see myself and is embarrassingly telling of my own ageism. On top of everything, “to retire” is a potent reminder that I am old.
Social Security projects that people who retire at 65 are likely to live another 20 years and I’m not looking to withdraw or go to bed just yet. The way I see it, this chapter is burgeoning with opportunity for a reset with more freedom, wisdom, experience, and resources at my disposal than at any point in my life. It holds promise for cultivating gifts and talents long dormant, learning things simply because they interest me, relaxed time with those I care about, and new avenues for service that have nothing to do with providing for myself and my family. Recrafting routines and patterns of living that have more to do with delight than productivity; shifting from “I have to” to “I get to”. Please tell me, what is more fitting word for all this?
I realize that all transitions, even those we choose, involve moments of loss, grief, and befuddlement. And that it will take time to find a new cadence. But this is a joyful enterprise that I intend to savor. One that will certainly result in new forms of purpose. That’s a good thing because emerging science is unequivocal about the importance of having a sense of purpose to health and well-being at any age (see Research Brief).
A couple of final notes. To the Young-uns out there, any life transition is an opportunity for self-redefinition and redirection. I hope you find labels or words that help you embrace yours too. And to those of you who love sporting teddy bear sweatshirts, I say, you go girl (or guy or them). Rock it!
What about you? Are you traversing a life transition or assuming a new life role that you’d like to rename and rebrand? If you are retired and love that word, please share your perspectives. Ditto if you have a new word that I should try on.
Onward!